May Day, celebrated on May 1st, is a traditional spring festival that marks the return of summer (thankfully) and has roots in ancient Roman and Celtic festivals. Some common traditions include dancing around a maypole, crowning a May Queen, and leaving flower baskets for neighbors, all of which symbolize fertility, new life, the blooming of spring, and the relief of the sun finally breaking through a long, cold winter. It is a festival of "making it" to the other side. But there is another Mayday, one that doesn't smell like spring.
But there is another Mayday — one that matters as much. "Mayday," which is the international voice distress signal used by pilots, mariners, and emergency responders to signify a life-threatening emergency, is typically repeated three times ("Mayday, mayday, mayday") for clarity. Invented in 1923 by Frederick Stanley Mockford at an airport, it derives from the French m'aider (help me). The term was adopted in 1927, replacing SOS to overcome radio static and language barriers.
Significance of the term "Mayday."
1. Immediate Action: It alerts you to an immediate, life-threatening danger, such as engine or structural failure or a fire, requiring immediate rescue.
2. Clarity: Unlike "help," "mayday" was specifically chosen as a short, unambiguous term that cuts through radio static, crucial in emergency voice communications.
3. Distress vs. Urgency: "Mayday" indicates an imminent threat, while "Pan-Pan" (I have never heard this one) is used for urgent but not immediately life-threatening situations.
"Mayday" is used when in distress — a clear, urgent, unapologetic signal that says I need help now. It carries no shame. No pilot hesitates to use it when lives are at stake. The same urgency can apply to our own mental and emotional well-being. When childhood experiences teach us that asking for help leads only to rejection or disappointment, finding the courage to ask again can feel nearly impossible. It's not a flaw; you may have learned that acting alone is best for survival. Independence seems like the best defense, but it's not.
My Key Points
1. We were never meant to fly solo. Pilots don't navigate emergencies alone, and humans aren't wired for isolation. Asking for help is biology, not weakness. Our Navy SEALs are elite, brave warriors, and they "always" have a swim buddy.
2. Mayday is a clear signal, not a complaint. There's a difference between venting and genuinely calling for help. It's okay to ask for help — simply saying “I need support right now” is a powerful act.
3. The cost of silent distress. What happens when pilots ignore warning signs? Crashes. Explore what emotional "crashes" look like when we suppress the Mayday call for too long.
4. Who's in your control tower? Identify your support network — trusted friends, family, and teachers, doctors, and crisis lines. You need to know who to call before your emergency happens.
5. Shame is the static on the line. The stigma around mental health muffles the signal. Many people are embarrassed by having mental health challenges, but they are as real as having a cold or the flu.
6. Having a Mayday moment is not permanent — sending a distress signal doesn't define you. It's a temporary call for help, not an identity. Sending a Mayday doesn't mean you are a "broken person." It means you are in a broken moment.
7. You don't need to be in crisis to call. Mayday occurrences exist on a spectrum — early calls are easier to answer than late ones.
My Closing Thought
Asking for help is an act of courage and self-awareness, not a sign of defeat. The bravest thing you can do is transmit clearly: I need help. I'm here. Find me, help me.
Famous psychologist Abraham Maslow spoke about the need for a sense of belonging. The third level in his hierarchy represents the fundamental human desire for interpersonal connection, friendship, trust, and acceptance. Positioned after physiological and safety needs, this need drives people to seek connection through family, friends, work groups, and communities to avoid loneliness and depression.
Every pilot who has ever called Mayday did so because they believed the journey was still worth completing. So should you. Whatever turbulence you are facing — the anxiety that won't quiet, the grief that won't lift, the weight you have carried in silence for far too long — you are allowed to call for help. You are allowed to say I am here, I am struggling, and I need some help. The moment you send that signal, you are no longer alone in the cockpit. And that changes everything. Sometimes life is too heavy to carry on your own.
A great local leader I know (Joe C!) loves this quote and uses it often – "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
Over the decades, I have visited many schools and dealt with many at-risk kids. I always recommended that they ask a trusted adult to help, from the teacher to a cafeteria worker to the bus driver. And I always, always told them, if no one else is listening, call me. I will be your friend.
Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully advocate.
No comments:
Post a Comment