Happy May Day

 

May Day has several meanings.

May Day, celebrated on May 1st, is a traditional spring festival that marks the return of summer (thankfully) and has roots in ancient Roman and Celtic festivals. Some common traditions include dancing around a maypole, crowning a May Queen, and leaving flower baskets for neighbors, all of which symbolize fertility, new life, the blooming of spring, and the relief of the sun finally breaking through a long, cold winter. It is a festival of "making it" to the other side. But there is another Mayday, one that doesn't smell like spring.

But there is another Mayday — one that matters as much. "Mayday," which is the international voice distress signal used by pilots, mariners, and emergency responders to signify a life-threatening emergency, is typically repeated three times ("Mayday, mayday, mayday") for clarity. Invented in 1923 by Frederick Stanley Mockford at an airport, it derives from the French m'aider (help me). The term was adopted in 1927, replacing SOS to overcome radio static and language barriers.

Significance of the term "Mayday."

1. Immediate Action: It alerts you to an immediate, life-threatening danger, such as engine or structural failure or a fire, requiring immediate rescue.

2. Clarity: Unlike "help," "mayday" was specifically chosen as a short, unambiguous term that cuts through radio static, crucial in emergency voice communications.

3. Distress vs. Urgency: "Mayday" indicates an imminent threat, while "Pan-Pan" (I have never heard this one) is used for urgent but not immediately life-threatening situations.

"Mayday" is used when in distress — a clear, urgent, unapologetic signal that says I need help now. It carries no shame. No pilot hesitates to use it when lives are at stake. The same urgency can apply to our own mental and emotional well-being. When childhood experiences teach us that asking for help leads only to rejection or disappointment, finding the courage to ask again can feel nearly impossible. It's not a flaw; you may have learned that acting alone is best for survival. Independence seems like the best defense, but it's not.

My Key Points

1. We were never meant to fly solo. Pilots don't navigate emergencies alone, and humans aren't wired for isolation. Asking for help is biology, not weakness. Our Navy SEALs are elite, brave warriors, and they "always" have a swim buddy.

2. Mayday is a clear signal, not a complaint. There's a difference between venting and genuinely calling for help. It's okay to ask for help — simply saying “I need support right now” is a powerful act.

3. The cost of silent distress. What happens when pilots ignore warning signs? Crashes. Explore what emotional "crashes" look like when we suppress the Mayday call for too long.

4. Who's in your control tower? Identify your support network — trusted friends, family, and teachers, doctors, and crisis lines. You need to know who to call before your emergency happens.

5. Shame is the static on the line. The stigma around mental health muffles the signal. Many people are embarrassed by having mental health challenges, but they are as real as having a cold or the flu.

6. Having a Mayday moment is not permanent — sending a distress signal doesn't define you. It's a temporary call for help, not an identity. Sending a Mayday doesn't mean you are a "broken person." It means you are in a broken moment.

7. You don't need to be in crisis to call. Mayday occurrences exist on a spectrum — early calls are easier to answer than late ones.

My Closing Thought

Asking for help is an act of courage and self-awareness, not a sign of defeat. The bravest thing you can do is transmit clearly: I need help. I'm here. Find me, help me.

Famous psychologist Abraham Maslow spoke about the need for a sense of belonging. The third level in his hierarchy represents the fundamental human desire for interpersonal connection, friendship, trust, and acceptance. Positioned after physiological and safety needs, this need drives people to seek connection through family, friends, work groups, and communities to avoid loneliness and depression.

Every pilot who has ever called Mayday did so because they believed the journey was still worth completing. So should you. Whatever turbulence you are facing — the anxiety that won't quiet, the grief that won't lift, the weight you have carried in silence for far too long — you are allowed to call for help. You are allowed to say I am here, I am struggling, and I need some help. The moment you send that signal, you are no longer alone in the cockpit. And that changes everything. Sometimes life is too heavy to carry on your own. 

A great local leader I know (Joe C!) loves this quote and uses it often – "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Over the decades, I have visited many schools and dealt with many at-risk kids. I always recommended that they ask a trusted adult to help, from the teacher to a cafeteria worker to the bus driver. And I always, always told them, if no one else is listening, call me. I will be your friend.

 

Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully advocate.

Check Norris-the man, the myth, the legend

 

Recently, we lost Carlos Ray Norris. You may know him as the late-great Chuck Norris.

We all know his action-packed movies, his signature sidekick, and his Walker, Texas Ranger days on TV, but did you know he came from very humble beginnings? Poor. No father. Joined the football team and warmed the bench. Lost a brother in Vietnam. His way out of this tough start in life led him to the military to escape these hardships.

First, let me dispel the rumor that I sparred with Chuck. Chuck was in the golden age of competition (circa 1960-1969) in the U.S. I am in the silver age generation and was heavily involved in the 1980’s, competing nationally and internationally. 

Over the years, I have had several great teachers in many different martial arts. Although I have trained in many systems, my primary training is in Tang Soo Do, a Korean art. Mr. Norris was in my karate family tree.

Here are a few stories about my Chuck connections.

Osan Air Force Base, South Korea (late 1950’s)

After being stationed in Korea, Norris joined many young G.I.s who began martial arts training after watching a demonstration to fill their off-duty time. Mr. Shin was one of the local Tang Soo Do instructors from town who taught daily classes on base in a Quonset hut. Service members trained for several hours each night under very rigorous conditions, in very cold winter weather and very hot summer weather. The long daily classes enabled students to accelerate their progress and even achieve black belt status in 1.5 years, as was the case with my teacher, Mr. Cheezic, who received his black belt in a morning grading. Norris then received his green belt that same afternoon (Mr. Cheezic was very proud of the fact that he was Norris' senior in rank).

One of my teachers, Grandmaster Kim of South Korea, told me this Chuck story. The Grandmaster had his school just a few blocks from Osan. As a matter of fact, I had the honor of visiting this mecca of martial arts in 2010. Norris was a military policeman and had the opportunity to requisition a military jeep for travel to Seoul for advanced training. South Korea is currently a very advanced country, but after the war there, with many dirt roads and scarce streetlights, there was great suffering and poverty. While driving from the air base to the city in an open-sided jeep, trying to avoid many road hazards, a critical incident occurred when crossing a barely sustained, weakened bridge. 

The jeep lurched violently, and Grandmaster Kim was flung helplessly toward the deep abyss of the ravine below. Norris, just in time, reached over, grabbed him, and kept him from being ejected, almost certainly to a critical end. The Grandmaster used to tell us that Chuck Norris saved his life. Not his first act of heroism.

After Korea, Norris returned to California and opened a chain of karate schools in the Los Angeles area. To boost the school's enrollment, he began competing in local martial arts tournaments. With overwhelming success, he ventured out across the country and became a national champion. With these credentials, his school grew exponentially, and with his skill and good looks, he soon became the instructor to the stars and was often on many popular TV shows (you can view these on YouTube). Steve McQueen, one of his students, got him into acting. 

I was at a kickboxing show at Foxwoods casino, where Chuck was the guest of honor. He was in the crowd signing autographs. When my wife’s turn came, she (at 5’6) was surprised to see they stood eye to eye, even with his cowboy boots. Sometimes our heroes are just regular people.

Why I admired Chuck Norris.

I just loved his “good guy” image. He was easy-going, firm, and respected. He often played the part of a hero, whether as a police officer, a soldier, or a concerned mentor. In one of his movies, he enters a bar and gets beaten up by a criminal crew of 16 guys. In a post-movie interview, he was asked, why didn't you use your movie magic to defeat them all? His reply was, “That's not realistic.”

His average-Joe persona made me admire him; he was not boastful like Jean-Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal, and he carried himself with a calm, peaceful demeanor. 

For years, I heavily supported our local D.A.R.E programs, and Chuck started a program called “Kick drugs out of America.”

He was a legitimate martial artist, always learning and combining arts to make himself and his students better, and I, too, followed this path of never-ending learning. Being a lifelong student exemplifies one of his greatest qualities. I saw a photo of him training in martial arts on his birthday, just days before his passing. 

Our art emphasizes self-discipline and character, and this gave Chuck a reputation for promoting the greater good. He was filled with dignity, and there was no trash-talking or ego.

Chuck Norris memes have been popular on the internet for decades, so I thought I would close with one. 

Chuck Norris didn’t die- he got tired of being undefeated on earth.

Mike Bogdanski

Mike is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist. 

"Navigating Screen Time: Healthy Habits for Kids"

While waiting in a long line at the grocery store, I had time to do some people-watching. Many of the patrons were moms with their kids, and what I noticed was the amount of screen time nearly every child was immersed in, watching videos or playing video games. I know, as a parent and grandparent, that the phone is an easy go-to babysitter when a child is getting restless, and you are tired and frustrated. If your child weren't using your phone, you might start scrolling to pass the time. In this column, I wanted to talk about creating healthy habits to navigate excess screen time for kids (and maybe you, too).

Screens are inevitable. With this powerful device, we can call, email, text, check the weather, track gas points, take photos, check social media, manage our appointments, place our Amazon order, pay our bills, and get the answer to any question in the universe. How did we ever manage before smartphones? And the downside- Scrolling at night ruins your sleep, helps you become sedentary, and adds to your depression. Can you imagine what it is doing to our kids during their developmental years?

It's all about balance. I think you would agree, the phone is addictive!

The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes limiting screen time based on age, prioritizing high-quality, interactive content, and avoiding screens for children under 18-24 months, except for video chatting.

Key recommendations include:

1. <18 months: Avoid digital media, except video chat.
2. 18–24 months: Limit to high-quality, educational programming.
3. 2–5 years: Max 1 hour per day of high-quality, educational, co-viewed content.
4. 6+ years: Set consistent limits to ensure adequate sleep, exercise, and schoolwork.

Different developmental stages have different needs:

∙ Toddlers/preschoolers: minimal screens, co-viewing

essential

∙ Elementary age: structured educational content

∙ Tweens/teens: social connection becomes important, and

boundaries are absolutely needed

Is it essential to be technologically literate? Yes! Technology helps us learn more, learn faster, and more efficiently. Our learning curve has been exponential because of it, and now with AI, watch out. The problem becomes the time and balance with moving your body and the emotional connections we need through relationships. I just read that Gen Z is turning to AI for counseling and companionship. Dating is down, new relationships are down, and anxiety is up. It's time to step back and take a strong look at what we are doing.

Active versus passive consumption. My wife and I are big readers, and we love getting our fix in the library. We chat with the great library staff, enjoy various programs they put on, and leave with an armful of books. If you or your kids scroll endlessly with no end in sight, you are wasting time and letting screen time become addictive.

Create Healthy Screen Habits

Having clear and reasonable rules for viewing is necessary. Let's establish clear boundaries for your kids:

∙ Screen-free zones (dinner table, bedrooms- a must)

∙ Screen-free times (first hour after waking, last hour

before bed)

∙ Tech-free family time

∙ Prioritize content quality

∙ Educational and creative apps over mindless scrolling

∙ Co-viewing and co-playing when possible

∙ Age-appropriate content

∙ Video calls with family vs. passive viewing

∙ Interactive learning vs. auto-play videos (I personally have been using Duolingo to brush up my Polish.

Model healthy behavior:

∙ Parents be role models for balanced use

∙ Emphasize active vs. passive consumption

∙ Teach critical thinking about online content

Physical activities are essential for a child's development, motor skills, emotional intelligence, and creativity are built thru through nature and hands-on play. Rather than a total digital ban, aim to integrate technology as a tool.

To maintain balance, establish a "limited screen time as a reward" system, co-create a family media plan, and designate daily "blackout" hours. Embracing unstructured "boredom/free thinking" is vital to developing your child's independence and creative spirit.

I want to warn you that the ever-present threat of cyberbullying and online predators must always be a concern. Tablet use is an open invitation to anyone in the world to hack into your child's life if you don't keep a close eye on it. Monitoring electronics is not an invasion of your child's privacy; it's your responsibility to keep them safe. Parental control apps are available to help filter content, control screen time, and generate activity reports. You can even flag mood and behavioral changes, and get bullying alerts. Never, I repeat never, let your kids take tech to bed.

Can your kids escape the screen? The answer is yes and no. To use the philosophy of moderation is the perfect answer. Having firm criteria will help you balance everything. Just like Goldilocks, there can be too much, too little, and just right. Assessing this proportional use by your child's age will be a never-ending question. If you are asking, "Is it too much?" The answer is probably yes. Be your child's guide to a healthy but guarded relationship with tech.

Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist.

“Navigating Screen Time: Healthy Habits for Kids”

While waiting in a long line at the grocery store, I had time to do some people-watching. Many of the patrons were moms with their kids, and what I noticed was the amount of screen time nearly every child was immersed in, watching videos or playing video games. I know, as a parent and grandparent, that the phone is an easy go-to babysitter when a child is getting restless, and you are tired and frustrated. If your child weren't using your phone, you might start scrolling to pass the time. In this column, I wanted to talk about creating healthy habits to navigate excess screen time for kids (and maybe you, too).

Screens are inevitable. With this powerful device, we can call, email, text, check the weather, track gas points, take photos, check social media, manage our appointments, place our Amazon order, pay our bills, and get the answer to any question in the universe. How did we ever manage before smartphones? And the downside- Scrolling at night ruins your sleep, helps you become sedentary, and adds to your depression. Can you imagine what it is doing to our kids during their developmental years?

It's all about balance. I think you would agree, the phone is addictive!

The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes limiting screen time based on age, prioritizing high-quality, interactive content, and avoiding screens for children under 18-24 months, except for video chatting. 

Key recommendations include: 

• <18 months: Avoid digital media, except video chat.
• 18–24 months: Limit to high-quality, educational programming.
• 2–5 years: Max 1 hour per day of high-quality, educational, co-viewed content. 
• 6+ years: Set consistent limits to ensure adequate sleep, exercise, and schoolwork. 

Different developmental stages have different needs:

∙ Toddlers/preschoolers: minimal screens, co-viewing 

essential

∙ Elementary age: structured educational content

∙ Tweens/teens: social connection becomes important, and 

boundaries are absolutely needed

Is it essential to be technologically literate? Yes! Technology helps us learn more, learn faster, and more efficiently. Our learning curve has been exponential because of it, and now with AI, watch out. The problem becomes the time and balance with moving your body and the emotional connections we need through relationships. I just read that Gen Z is turning to AI for counseling and companionship. Dating is down, new relationships are down, and anxiety is up. It's time to step back and take a strong look at what we are doing.

Active versus passive consumption. My wife and I are big readers, and we love getting our fix in the library. We chat with the great library staff, enjoy various programs they put on, and leave with an armful of books. If you or your kids scroll endlessly with no end in sight, you are wasting time and letting screen time become addictive.

Create Healthy Screen Habits 

Having clear and reasonable rules for viewing is necessary. Let's establish clear boundaries for your kids:

∙ Screen-free zones (dinner table, bedrooms- a must)

∙ Screen-free times (first hour after waking, last hour 

before bed)

∙ Tech-free family time

∙ Prioritize content quality

∙ Educational and creative apps over mindless scrolling

∙ Co-viewing and co-playing when possible

∙ Age-appropriate content

∙ Video calls with family vs. passive viewing

∙ Interactive learning vs. auto-play videos (I personally have been using Duolingo to brush up my Polish.

Model healthy behavior:

∙ Parents be role models for balanced use

∙ Emphasize active vs. passive consumption

∙ Teach critical thinking about online content

Physical activities are essential for a child’s development, motor skills, emotional intelligence, and creativity are built thru through nature and hands-on play. Rather than a total digital ban, aim to integrate technology as a tool.

To maintain balance, establish a "limited screen time as a reward" system, co-create a family media plan, and designate daily "blackout" hours. Embracing unstructured "boredom/free thinking" is vital to developing your child's independence and creative spirit.

I want to warn you that the ever-present threat of cyberbullying and online predators must always be a concern. Tablet use is an open invitation to anyone in the world to hack into your child’s life if you don’t keep a close eye on it. Monitoring electronics is not an invasion of your child’s privacy; it’s your responsibility to keep them safe. Parental control apps are available to help filter content, control screen time, and generate activity reports. You can even flag mood and behavioral changes, and get bullying alerts. Never, I repeat never, let your kids take tech to bed.

Can your kids escape the screen? The answer is yes and no. To use the philosophy of moderation is the perfect answer. Having firm criteria will help you balance everything. Just like Goldilocks, there can be too much, too little, and just right. Assessing this proportional use by your child’s age will be a never-ending question. If you are asking, “Is it too much?” The answer is probably yes. Be your child’s guide to a healthy but guarded relationship with tech.

Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist. 

See The Gold in Everyday

 I received so much great feedback on my last column. My focus was on the many great places and activities in Northeast Connecticut, and this second version will focus on the people who make it special. 

Several years ago, one of Northeast Connecticut's finest citizens, Ron Coderre, wrote a column that everyone loved to read (thanks, RPC). At the end of the year, he always mentioned many great local people who have given much to our area. This article will be my version.

Thank you to all the great people who make Northeast Connecticut a special place to live. I know I cannot mention all the deserving citizens, but I will do my best. 

First, family -- my wife, our children, and grandchildren, who we are blessed to have in our lives, my sister Jean, my brother-in-law Dave, and my nephew Alex Stratton. I want to thank the people who influenced me throughout my life: my generous and loving parents, and the many martial arts teachers who always held me to a higher standard. 

Gary and Karen Osbrey, who have dedicated their lives to improving our towns, have a genuine love for people and the ever-popular morning show with the illustrious John Mahon. The decades of students and members of Mike Bogdanski’s Martial Arts and Midtown Fitness, who still often mention how much they miss my old gym. Mayor Barney Seney and all he has done for Putnam (and for me personally); Putnam Town Administrator Elaine Sistare; the ever-vigilant Putnam Police Department, especially Captain Justin Lussier, a very special person to me. Michelle Lott for her senior lunches; Barbara Chubbuck for just being the very best person; Beth Markowski Roop for her contribution to the duck race. The stalwart local leadership of Maureen Nicholson, Joe Bellavance, Ed Grandelski, and Nick Donohue, who put in the time, heart, and work selflessly for residents, retired rec director Willie Bousquet, a Putnam legend, and Jimmy Callaghan, who has risen to fill these big shoes. 

Great community groups like the Chamber (Elle and Nancy) and the PBA (President Kate Cerrone), and their dedicated members who drive Northeast Connecticut energy like a racecar. 

Professor Gary Powell for his friendship and compassion, Peter Vitale for his leadership, Joe Carvalho for his vision, Arthur Fairthorne for his quiet and dedicated mentorship, and Dr. Jeff Gordon for his passion for NE. CT., Dr. Deb Campbell, for her emergency department heroism at DKH.

Mike Green, whose dad used to be Putnam’s police chief, a dedicated martial artist now fighting a serious health battle, Jeremy Goulet -- Black Belt, former Marine, and MP for your indomitable spirit and dedicated support, 

Amy Brunette and Dick Loomis and their passion for business, Dick Salvas highlighting all classic cars, Danny Goyette for getting us deals on vehicles, Sam Markely who sold me my ninja Corvette over 45 years ago, Putnam’s restaurant of the year owners Sheila and James Frost (by the way, James is my first Black Belt, starting karate at age 11)—excellent breakfasts at the Painted Baker with Monique and Jamie, Jimmy and Deb St. Jean, Tracie, Kathy, and Jen at Chase Graphics. Nicole and Julie for your artistry at the Complex, Tonya Brock, and your dedication to the Bradley Playhouse. Linda Colangelo and Laura Croscetti for too many good deeds to mention, Tim Daley, DJ, for keeping us dancing. Insurance King Matt Desaulnier, computer guru Eric Gould, the benevolent and generous Tom Borner, Dave Vitale, former restaurateur and now clean-up man, Linda Lemmon, and her Putnam Town Crier, who shows us how a small town newspaper gets built, and Mike and Krupa, who believed in Putnam enough to make Montana Nights, and now Bounce X, The Larsons, and their Sprucedale Gardens Nursery for green thumbs, and for Logee’s and their legendary greenhouses.

Great people who have passed: former Mayor and State rep Danny Rovero, Don Brown, former vice president of the frozen food aisle at Stop and Shop, Laura Gubernat, one of the greatest moms, Karissa Choquette, who went through Black Belt testing while wearing a chemo port; Laurie Champany, the most formidable cancer fighter ever; and Master Griz, who was a dedicated student and instructor right to the end. 

Valley Spring greats President Kathleen Demers, Waldo, and my buddy Danny Moulton. Moe Coderre for his warm and genuine personality. Joe Carlone, Sr., for friendship and foot switches.

Veterans Fred Ruhlemann and Bruce Hay, for their dedication to veterans and their generous food share; Rob Challinor and Hans Lowell, for keeping the veteran spirit alive at the Putnam V.F.W.

Kristen and Zak from Wonderland Comics, who provide me with my monthly Superman comics; Trent Pappas and his Quiet Corner TV project; and Robin Deary Fillmore for the most extraordinary gymnastics center in the state.

Consistently dedicated Villager letter writers, Dr. Lee Wesler and Lisa Arends. Our local historians: Bill and Terri Pearsall, John Miller, Jeanne Benoit, and Queen of the Boxcar Museum, Pat Hedenberg.

And a special thanks to Brendan Berube and Villager newspapers!

There are so many great people to mention, and I am sorry for leaving you out. 

Hoping everyone can live their dream in 2026. I plan to!

Mike Bogdanski

Mike is a martial arts Grandmaster, anti-bully activist, and newly elected Selectman