"Navigating Screen Time: Healthy Habits for Kids"

While waiting in a long line at the grocery store, I had time to do some people-watching. Many of the patrons were moms with their kids, and what I noticed was the amount of screen time nearly every child was immersed in, watching videos or playing video games. I know, as a parent and grandparent, that the phone is an easy go-to babysitter when a child is getting restless, and you are tired and frustrated. If your child weren't using your phone, you might start scrolling to pass the time. In this column, I wanted to talk about creating healthy habits to navigate excess screen time for kids (and maybe you, too).

Screens are inevitable. With this powerful device, we can call, email, text, check the weather, track gas points, take photos, check social media, manage our appointments, place our Amazon order, pay our bills, and get the answer to any question in the universe. How did we ever manage before smartphones? And the downside- Scrolling at night ruins your sleep, helps you become sedentary, and adds to your depression. Can you imagine what it is doing to our kids during their developmental years?

It's all about balance. I think you would agree, the phone is addictive!

The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes limiting screen time based on age, prioritizing high-quality, interactive content, and avoiding screens for children under 18-24 months, except for video chatting.

Key recommendations include:

1. <18 months: Avoid digital media, except video chat.
2. 18–24 months: Limit to high-quality, educational programming.
3. 2–5 years: Max 1 hour per day of high-quality, educational, co-viewed content.
4. 6+ years: Set consistent limits to ensure adequate sleep, exercise, and schoolwork.

Different developmental stages have different needs:

∙ Toddlers/preschoolers: minimal screens, co-viewing

essential

∙ Elementary age: structured educational content

∙ Tweens/teens: social connection becomes important, and

boundaries are absolutely needed

Is it essential to be technologically literate? Yes! Technology helps us learn more, learn faster, and more efficiently. Our learning curve has been exponential because of it, and now with AI, watch out. The problem becomes the time and balance with moving your body and the emotional connections we need through relationships. I just read that Gen Z is turning to AI for counseling and companionship. Dating is down, new relationships are down, and anxiety is up. It's time to step back and take a strong look at what we are doing.

Active versus passive consumption. My wife and I are big readers, and we love getting our fix in the library. We chat with the great library staff, enjoy various programs they put on, and leave with an armful of books. If you or your kids scroll endlessly with no end in sight, you are wasting time and letting screen time become addictive.

Create Healthy Screen Habits

Having clear and reasonable rules for viewing is necessary. Let's establish clear boundaries for your kids:

∙ Screen-free zones (dinner table, bedrooms- a must)

∙ Screen-free times (first hour after waking, last hour

before bed)

∙ Tech-free family time

∙ Prioritize content quality

∙ Educational and creative apps over mindless scrolling

∙ Co-viewing and co-playing when possible

∙ Age-appropriate content

∙ Video calls with family vs. passive viewing

∙ Interactive learning vs. auto-play videos (I personally have been using Duolingo to brush up my Polish.

Model healthy behavior:

∙ Parents be role models for balanced use

∙ Emphasize active vs. passive consumption

∙ Teach critical thinking about online content

Physical activities are essential for a child's development, motor skills, emotional intelligence, and creativity are built thru through nature and hands-on play. Rather than a total digital ban, aim to integrate technology as a tool.

To maintain balance, establish a "limited screen time as a reward" system, co-create a family media plan, and designate daily "blackout" hours. Embracing unstructured "boredom/free thinking" is vital to developing your child's independence and creative spirit.

I want to warn you that the ever-present threat of cyberbullying and online predators must always be a concern. Tablet use is an open invitation to anyone in the world to hack into your child's life if you don't keep a close eye on it. Monitoring electronics is not an invasion of your child's privacy; it's your responsibility to keep them safe. Parental control apps are available to help filter content, control screen time, and generate activity reports. You can even flag mood and behavioral changes, and get bullying alerts. Never, I repeat never, let your kids take tech to bed.

Can your kids escape the screen? The answer is yes and no. To use the philosophy of moderation is the perfect answer. Having firm criteria will help you balance everything. Just like Goldilocks, there can be too much, too little, and just right. Assessing this proportional use by your child's age will be a never-ending question. If you are asking, "Is it too much?" The answer is probably yes. Be your child's guide to a healthy but guarded relationship with tech.

Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist.

“Navigating Screen Time: Healthy Habits for Kids”

While waiting in a long line at the grocery store, I had time to do some people-watching. Many of the patrons were moms with their kids, and what I noticed was the amount of screen time nearly every child was immersed in, watching videos or playing video games. I know, as a parent and grandparent, that the phone is an easy go-to babysitter when a child is getting restless, and you are tired and frustrated. If your child weren't using your phone, you might start scrolling to pass the time. In this column, I wanted to talk about creating healthy habits to navigate excess screen time for kids (and maybe you, too).

Screens are inevitable. With this powerful device, we can call, email, text, check the weather, track gas points, take photos, check social media, manage our appointments, place our Amazon order, pay our bills, and get the answer to any question in the universe. How did we ever manage before smartphones? And the downside- Scrolling at night ruins your sleep, helps you become sedentary, and adds to your depression. Can you imagine what it is doing to our kids during their developmental years?

It's all about balance. I think you would agree, the phone is addictive!

The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes limiting screen time based on age, prioritizing high-quality, interactive content, and avoiding screens for children under 18-24 months, except for video chatting. 

Key recommendations include: 

• <18 months: Avoid digital media, except video chat.
• 18–24 months: Limit to high-quality, educational programming.
• 2–5 years: Max 1 hour per day of high-quality, educational, co-viewed content. 
• 6+ years: Set consistent limits to ensure adequate sleep, exercise, and schoolwork. 

Different developmental stages have different needs:

∙ Toddlers/preschoolers: minimal screens, co-viewing 

essential

∙ Elementary age: structured educational content

∙ Tweens/teens: social connection becomes important, and 

boundaries are absolutely needed

Is it essential to be technologically literate? Yes! Technology helps us learn more, learn faster, and more efficiently. Our learning curve has been exponential because of it, and now with AI, watch out. The problem becomes the time and balance with moving your body and the emotional connections we need through relationships. I just read that Gen Z is turning to AI for counseling and companionship. Dating is down, new relationships are down, and anxiety is up. It's time to step back and take a strong look at what we are doing.

Active versus passive consumption. My wife and I are big readers, and we love getting our fix in the library. We chat with the great library staff, enjoy various programs they put on, and leave with an armful of books. If you or your kids scroll endlessly with no end in sight, you are wasting time and letting screen time become addictive.

Create Healthy Screen Habits 

Having clear and reasonable rules for viewing is necessary. Let's establish clear boundaries for your kids:

∙ Screen-free zones (dinner table, bedrooms- a must)

∙ Screen-free times (first hour after waking, last hour 

before bed)

∙ Tech-free family time

∙ Prioritize content quality

∙ Educational and creative apps over mindless scrolling

∙ Co-viewing and co-playing when possible

∙ Age-appropriate content

∙ Video calls with family vs. passive viewing

∙ Interactive learning vs. auto-play videos (I personally have been using Duolingo to brush up my Polish.

Model healthy behavior:

∙ Parents be role models for balanced use

∙ Emphasize active vs. passive consumption

∙ Teach critical thinking about online content

Physical activities are essential for a child’s development, motor skills, emotional intelligence, and creativity are built thru through nature and hands-on play. Rather than a total digital ban, aim to integrate technology as a tool.

To maintain balance, establish a "limited screen time as a reward" system, co-create a family media plan, and designate daily "blackout" hours. Embracing unstructured "boredom/free thinking" is vital to developing your child's independence and creative spirit.

I want to warn you that the ever-present threat of cyberbullying and online predators must always be a concern. Tablet use is an open invitation to anyone in the world to hack into your child’s life if you don’t keep a close eye on it. Monitoring electronics is not an invasion of your child’s privacy; it’s your responsibility to keep them safe. Parental control apps are available to help filter content, control screen time, and generate activity reports. You can even flag mood and behavioral changes, and get bullying alerts. Never, I repeat never, let your kids take tech to bed.

Can your kids escape the screen? The answer is yes and no. To use the philosophy of moderation is the perfect answer. Having firm criteria will help you balance everything. Just like Goldilocks, there can be too much, too little, and just right. Assessing this proportional use by your child’s age will be a never-ending question. If you are asking, “Is it too much?” The answer is probably yes. Be your child’s guide to a healthy but guarded relationship with tech.

Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist. 

See The Gold in Everyday

 I received so much great feedback on my last column. My focus was on the many great places and activities in Northeast Connecticut, and this second version will focus on the people who make it special. 

Several years ago, one of Northeast Connecticut's finest citizens, Ron Coderre, wrote a column that everyone loved to read (thanks, RPC). At the end of the year, he always mentioned many great local people who have given much to our area. This article will be my version.

Thank you to all the great people who make Northeast Connecticut a special place to live. I know I cannot mention all the deserving citizens, but I will do my best. 

First, family -- my wife, our children, and grandchildren, who we are blessed to have in our lives, my sister Jean, my brother-in-law Dave, and my nephew Alex Stratton. I want to thank the people who influenced me throughout my life: my generous and loving parents, and the many martial arts teachers who always held me to a higher standard. 

Gary and Karen Osbrey, who have dedicated their lives to improving our towns, have a genuine love for people and the ever-popular morning show with the illustrious John Mahon. The decades of students and members of Mike Bogdanski’s Martial Arts and Midtown Fitness, who still often mention how much they miss my old gym. Mayor Barney Seney and all he has done for Putnam (and for me personally); Putnam Town Administrator Elaine Sistare; the ever-vigilant Putnam Police Department, especially Captain Justin Lussier, a very special person to me. Michelle Lott for her senior lunches; Barbara Chubbuck for just being the very best person; Beth Markowski Roop for her contribution to the duck race. The stalwart local leadership of Maureen Nicholson, Joe Bellavance, Ed Grandelski, and Nick Donohue, who put in the time, heart, and work selflessly for residents, retired rec director Willie Bousquet, a Putnam legend, and Jimmy Callaghan, who has risen to fill these big shoes. 

Great community groups like the Chamber (Elle and Nancy) and the PBA (President Kate Cerrone), and their dedicated members who drive Northeast Connecticut energy like a racecar. 

Professor Gary Powell for his friendship and compassion, Peter Vitale for his leadership, Joe Carvalho for his vision, Arthur Fairthorne for his quiet and dedicated mentorship, and Dr. Jeff Gordon for his passion for NE. CT., Dr. Deb Campbell, for her emergency department heroism at DKH.

Mike Green, whose dad used to be Putnam’s police chief, a dedicated martial artist now fighting a serious health battle, Jeremy Goulet -- Black Belt, former Marine, and MP for your indomitable spirit and dedicated support, 

Amy Brunette and Dick Loomis and their passion for business, Dick Salvas highlighting all classic cars, Danny Goyette for getting us deals on vehicles, Sam Markely who sold me my ninja Corvette over 45 years ago, Putnam’s restaurant of the year owners Sheila and James Frost (by the way, James is my first Black Belt, starting karate at age 11)—excellent breakfasts at the Painted Baker with Monique and Jamie, Jimmy and Deb St. Jean, Tracie, Kathy, and Jen at Chase Graphics. Nicole and Julie for your artistry at the Complex, Tonya Brock, and your dedication to the Bradley Playhouse. Linda Colangelo and Laura Croscetti for too many good deeds to mention, Tim Daley, DJ, for keeping us dancing. Insurance King Matt Desaulnier, computer guru Eric Gould, the benevolent and generous Tom Borner, Dave Vitale, former restaurateur and now clean-up man, Linda Lemmon, and her Putnam Town Crier, who shows us how a small town newspaper gets built, and Mike and Krupa, who believed in Putnam enough to make Montana Nights, and now Bounce X, The Larsons, and their Sprucedale Gardens Nursery for green thumbs, and for Logee’s and their legendary greenhouses.

Great people who have passed: former Mayor and State rep Danny Rovero, Don Brown, former vice president of the frozen food aisle at Stop and Shop, Laura Gubernat, one of the greatest moms, Karissa Choquette, who went through Black Belt testing while wearing a chemo port; Laurie Champany, the most formidable cancer fighter ever; and Master Griz, who was a dedicated student and instructor right to the end. 

Valley Spring greats President Kathleen Demers, Waldo, and my buddy Danny Moulton. Moe Coderre for his warm and genuine personality. Joe Carlone, Sr., for friendship and foot switches.

Veterans Fred Ruhlemann and Bruce Hay, for their dedication to veterans and their generous food share; Rob Challinor and Hans Lowell, for keeping the veteran spirit alive at the Putnam V.F.W.

Kristen and Zak from Wonderland Comics, who provide me with my monthly Superman comics; Trent Pappas and his Quiet Corner TV project; and Robin Deary Fillmore for the most extraordinary gymnastics center in the state.

Consistently dedicated Villager letter writers, Dr. Lee Wesler and Lisa Arends. Our local historians: Bill and Terri Pearsall, John Miller, Jeanne Benoit, and Queen of the Boxcar Museum, Pat Hedenberg.

And a special thanks to Brendan Berube and Villager newspapers!

There are so many great people to mention, and I am sorry for leaving you out. 

Hoping everyone can live their dream in 2026. I plan to!

Mike Bogdanski

Mike is a martial arts Grandmaster, anti-bully activist, and newly elected Selectman

Youth is Wasted on the Young: A Second Look at the "Do-Over."

Now that I am (mostly) retired, I finally have the space to look back on where I've been and consider where I'm going. In conversations with friends, I often hear the same "retro" refrains: "If I could do it over again," "If I knew then what I know now," or "I didn't realize how good I had it."

If you've found yourself echoing these thoughts, you aren't alone. It is easy to look back and spot the wrong turns we have made in life. Let's revisit those questions with the benefit of the wisdom and knowledge we've earned.

"If I could do it all over again..."

It is human nature to look back and spot the wrong turns. However, I hope that if there were better choices to be made, you have already begun correcting your course. If not, start today. I live by the mantra: "The best time to start was yesterday; the next best time is right now."

"If I knew then what I know now..."

Forgive your younger self. Really, it's ok. At that time in your life, you simply didn't have the "software" to process the information you have today. Chances are, you likely heard good advice back then, but you lacked the maturity, time, or confidence to act on it. As Oprah Winfrey wisely said: "If I knew then what I know now, I would never have wasted even a single minute doubting my path." Your path led you to this realization; that is a victory in itself.

"I had it good, but I didn't appreciate it."

In my years of teaching, I often said, " Maturity is the day you learn to walk around the puddle rather than through it. Of course, when looking back, we would have picked different jobs, saved more money, or exercised more. But the secret to happiness is to appreciate what you have right now.

There are people in this world who envy the exact life you are living today. In past years, we compared ourselves to the neighbors; today's youth compare themselves to a global "highlight reel" on social media. It makes me realize that "appreciating what you have" is actually much harder today than it was forty years ago.

As I mentioned in last month's article, "Look for the gold in your day." You can always find one thing daily to be grateful for and maintain an "attitude of gratitude."

The Teacher Appears

We often wish we could go back and teach our younger selves to persevere, to sacrifice for the long term, and to have the courage to try new things. But there is a hurdle: the old saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Science tells us the human brain isn't fully developed until age twenty-five—and as many of us know, that's especially true for young men! Our younger selves might not have been ready or willing to listen.

Passing the Torch

While you cannot travel back in time to mentor your teenage self, you can share your "O.P.E." (Other People's Experience) with your children, grandchildren, and peers. Having the opportunity to mentor many over the years, I reflected on what advice could be helpful. One of the best things I ever learned personally was to ask people who are more intelligent than I am for advice. I have gotten counsel from elderly veterans to multi-millionaires and everything in between. I believe successful people are usually happy to share their map if you are willing to ask for directions.

As the saying goes: "Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk."

My Remedies for the "If Onlys"

The tragedy of life is often that we get old too soon and wise too late. But it's never too late to change your self-imposed narrative.

1. Seek Wisdom, Not Do-Overs: Don't wish for a "do-over"; make today a "do-it."

2. Keep Growing: Commit to developing mentally, physically, and emotionally, regardless of your age. I once received a desk plaque from a student: "Success is a journey, not a destination." This woman was a black belt at age 53. When she moved to Florida, she started karate at a new school and was asked to wear a white belt again. She was dismayed to think her previous hard work was for naught. With her previous experience, she accelerated through the program and got a second black belt at age 56 (enjoy the journey).

3. Find the Spark: Perhaps the goal isn't to be a teen again, but to bring "teenage" wonder and energy into our adult lives. Let's take a step forward every day. If you could sit down with your 17-year-old self for coffee today, what's the one thing you'd tell them? 

We often spend our later years wishing for a "back to the future moment," but what if the real goal isn't to be young again—it's to bring youthful inspiration into seeking the wisdom we have now.

My monthly tip- Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Mike is A martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist

See The Good In Every Day

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year.

With these fun holidays upon us, I think of the great gift we all share: living in the quiet corner.

Having traveled across the country, I've observed the subtle yet distinct differences that characterize our various regions. From the intense cold experienced in states like Minnesota to the significant heat and humidity of Florida and the unique desert landscapes of Arizona, these regional variations are undeniable.

It's interesting to note that if you were to view our part of the country on Google Earth, you would see a continuous streak of light stretching from Boston to New York. However, there's a particular exception: a noticeable dark area right here in northeast Connecticut where our little towns are uniquely quieter.

When I was in college in the Hartford area, and I drove out here with my friends, they would comment, "You can't get there from here," because we had to leave the highway to take Route 44 to Northeast CT. Over the years, I have heard people say that Connecticut was just a bathroom stop on the drive from New York City to Boston, but they also commented on the Gold Coast of Stamford and Greenwich, where all the wealthy people lived. I now disagree.

Growing up in Norwich, we rarely traveled up this way, and I never knew there were actually towns above Jewett City. Now, in each year of my life, I feel like the Quiet Corner enriches us with so many gems that we are rich beyond belief. I think we live a "Goldilocks" lifestyle here. Not too big, or too small, never too hot or too cold, rural but not isolated, historic, yet filled with action, and to me, it's just right.

Here are just some of the many things we delight in here.

The scenery encompasses the natural and the man-made: not only the lush lakes, the rich greenness (according to my son, who lives in the dry scrub of LA) of summer trees and grass, the stunning colors of fall, and the rolling hills filled with numerous stone walls, but also the town greens, the beauty of our parks, the church steeples, and even a boxcar museum—an absolutely charming combination. Sometimes I feel like we live in a storybook rather than a historical museum, even though we have those here, too.

I could be tempted by warm winters down south because I live to celebrate our summers by eating outside at the Vanilla Bean, swimming in a warm pool, and watching fireworks on the Fourth of July. I love fall's brilliant colors, and we even have our own pumpkin fest and zombie fashion show.

We celebrate the winter with a Disney-esque light parade that delights residents of all ages, and get our photo taken in the giant Christmas ornament in Rotary Park. Putnam's downtown is still Connecticut's antique mecca. I personally love browsing these stores, even though I only collect vintage comics. After the hard reset of winter, we glory in the spring with the blooming of tulips and daffodils as the earth warms and our season of rebirth occurs. My wife says this is the best time to visit her special Woodstock nursery to ready our yard for summer.

We even have a local celebrity mayor who, in March, dresses in his St. Patrick's best and does the Macarena with everyone at the senior dances. Local, kind, and genuine people donate generously and give their time willingly to so many great causes, like a food and clothing bank. We have great local libraries and even celebrity local radio station owners who take immense pride in our local towns.

Northeast Connecticut has a 15-Minute Rule: You are 15 minutes from a cow pasture and 15 minutes from an artisanal coffee shop, vineyard, or brewery. In minutes, you can be in our local playhouse or throwing axes just down the road. We delight in the talent of our local musicians and artists, and we even have a giant mural fest to look forward to.

Over the years, many young adults told me they are chomping at the bit to leave northeast CT and go where the action is. Often, many of them gladly return here once they have a family and want the comfort and safety that our beloved, quiet corner offers. They tell me they missed the smell of fireplaces burning and fresh-cut grass. The ocean is only an hour away and not a plane ride. We don't live in the land of hedge funds and high-stress commuting; we live in a place that is affordable, unpretentious, friendly, and community-oriented. If you need more culture, it is a very short hop to Boston and New York City.

I hope you love this area as much as I do and you agree with the points I have made. I happen to be one of the luckiest people I know because we have great children, loving grandchildren, and many, many dear friends. I enjoy quotes, and here are a few of my favorites: "Success is getting what you want." Happiness is wanting what you get.” Yes, I love northeast CT, and you can paint me with "an attitude of gratitude.” Other parts of the country might be bigger, warmer, or busier, but I think Putnam is "just right.”

Mike Bogdanski

Mike is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist.